#stone me if I turn out to be wrong
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Guys I am saying this with love and as gently as I can: I don't know how the show can make it more clear that Buddy is. not. happening. You are punishing yourselves clingging to the chance it ever will.
And I find it a little tiny upsetting that you all reduce Eddie's struggle with a grief he never processed over a woman he loved (even if you like to pretend he actually never loved her) and the most important relationship in his life (the one with his son) becoming fractured, to actually some secret realization that he is gay even though there has never been any indication that is the case.
I am not saying there couldn't be room for a queer storyline for Eddie on top of everything, but I really don't think there will.
#stone me if I turn out to be wrong#but I just think everyone needs to breathe and take a step back for a second#911#911 abc#911 spoilers#911 show#911 season 8#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 8x06#ryan guzman#oliver stark
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Based on my latest post I'm overjoyed that my moots (whether or not tumblr officially recognises them thx sideblog doing sideblog sht) and those who randonly stumble upon my shit are objectively some of the greatest people.
I love this weird corner I found myself in and the general mindset and views on things.
And I may be too scared nd socially awkward to approach anyone directly but be assured I'm on the sidelines rooting for folks in a very cutesy, very demure manner and y'all should feel loved.
#i expected stones to be thrown but i found understanding#what an odd thing to happen#either way even if larian fumbles and even if the purity culture swaps over here more based on us developments#i mean the tiktok ban#i shall try my best to keep the dove evermore rotten#while also indulging in the fluff y'all make#but mostly the later cuz i'm still scared of sharing whatever the fuck I've done to bg3 lmao#someone read it and even said it was good but the doubt refuses to leave#why is creativity like that why cant we just love ourselves and be confident and unapologetic about ourselves as a whole#yeah it may be shit but it was made with lots of blood sweat and love#why am i getting so profound about this what is wrong with me today#anyway someone wanna read how gortash and durge start a bitch fight with each other that never ended#and instead just festered for a few decades#including political sheming - somehow jealousy - inexplicably yearning and an overwhelming sense of tragedy and dread#cuz 40 years passed but nothing changed in fact its only starting to unravel more#'look at how far they've come and how theyre slowly slipping right back into being a monster' - the longfic#still dont know how the kid that was raised by them and a bunch more other idiots turned out as well adjusted as she is#i mean okay there may be some patricide but yk its family tradition atp#yeah okay ive absolutely lost the plot in my own tags now#anyway point stands y'all r cool nd feel loved
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Thought it'd be cute to draw some of my Foxtopus characters using their representing flags colours! These turned out SO cute... In order- Avril (It/She) Ace flag, Sylvester (He/They) Gay flag (specifically the Gilbert Baker flag!), and Detective Stone (She/Her) Lesbian flag!
#Kaileys Art#Foxtopus#Closed Species#Pride Month#Ace pride#Lesbian pride#Sylvester#Avril#Detective Stone#Kailey Makes A Queue#I LOOOOOOOVE how Avril and Stone turned out So very much and don't get me wrong Sylvester is adorable#But because of there being a whole rainbow to work with he just looks Almost Normal in comparison to Avril and Stone gljknSFDKLJFNSLD
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if u told me 5yrs ago that i’d be lesbian married with two cats and a decent job in a field i really love with friends and family who are truly supportive and loving i would have never ever believed it
#but also a tiny part of me would have been so relieved#like. having three panic attacks at least a year wondering if i was a transmasc lesbian from 12-23yrs old…#turns out i was right about that but wrong that everyone would be weird . my mom Gets It which is really really nice#oh and also that i was actually a stone butch top this whole time like also duh#anyways life is crazyyyy and beautifullll#even though bad things happen . cest la vie
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formerly an essay in tags but - billie lurk. half-nameless, misremembered woman. her powers derived from the things taken from her, without any catharsis or empowerment. the rat charm, tied with deidre's hair, her lover's voice in the mouth of rats. her arm and eye, taken, given back only to cause her chronic pain, then lost again. foresight seems a cruel gift for a woman who botched the timing of her takeover of the whalers, and bet wrong when it came to delilah.
she never bore the outsider's blessing; his first visit to her was more like an assault. every other dishonored POV character gets the choice to be selfish, and for that selfishness to mean something, but billie's actions have no effect on the world at large, either, in a game without a chaos system.
some say that corvo is the ghost, but he can reach out and change things. billie's buried herself twice and come back and nothing she does seems to matter - she is less a protagonist, more a convenient full stop in the narrative.
try this: open doto, start a new game. sit in her cabin. notice how little of billie there is. even the woman she loved more than anyone has the face of another named character.
she sits amongst the assets of other games: empty canvases and a dressmaker's mannequin that wears nothing.
#billie lurk#even the wiki is wrong about her its infuriating#pulled this out of tags because fuck it#in daud's DLCs even the stories that weren't about him were about him#but billie's stories are the scrapheap. they're the stuff they couldn't squeeze in elsewhere. cheap jokes and macguffins#i'm not even roasting the devs for this i think releasing dishonored in 2016 then DotO in 2017 was a feat (derogatory)#games should be made slowly and with love#and i know that everyones talked about this endlessly#but billie is my fav and it sucks that she got a game that only causes me to grieve for her as a character#not FOR her as a person#only the potential story that never was. that she never got.#you can have your strong black woman and not turn her into a trope. give her depth and range and heartache and agency. yes there was traged#but how did it SHAPE her?#dont get me started on her being designated caretaker of a former god and dying assassin. what the fuck#some of this i'd be more okay with if she was younger - i mean. the blank canvases? really?#this game could have been about wyman and there's not that much that would have changed in terms of the core story#“found out the asshole that killed your mother is still around. gonna go deal with that.”#emily who is stoned: “cool.bring me snacks on the way back”#wyman: “oh he's saying actually it was gods fault and that its possible to kill him. well i have literally nothing in my schedule”#billie's not surprised by anything anymore but maybe wyman would freak out over most of it. could have been a lot of fun#also you cant fuck up wymans characterisation. they barely exist.#local empress sends her enby girlboyfriend to kill god#pres writes increasingly deranged essays in the tags#death of the outsider spoilers#i have to complain about doto once every year or so or i die#but i'm not really gonna let arkane hide behind dev excuses when it comes to racism like. its not enough
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i am going to say something so brave. but i think fanon hohenheim sucks actually and the fandom’s perception of him is so fucking wrong bc they only hone in on the deadbeat dad thing and ignore all of his backstory and character development .
#like don’t get me wrong yeah he’s a shit fuckin dad! but he is not an inherently bad person did anyone actually read the manga#or watch the show. hello.#like. people act like if he Stayed then everything would be okay#but the promised day would’ve happened regardless of if ed and al preformed human transmutation.#they just wouldn’t be directly involved in the plan anymore. hohenheim however Would be#he didn’t leave out of hatred for his family. he left bc he knew there was a lot he had to do in order to stop father’s plan hello#HE DIDNT HATE HIS SONS!! HE WAS TERRIFIED OF HIMSELF AND THATS WHAT HELD HIM BACK#PEOPLE HAVE NUANCE DAMMIT#LIKE YEAH HES A DEADBEAT DAD BUT CAN WE USE. CRITICAL THINKING.#i’m not a hohenheim lover but i’m also not a hohenheim hater u feel me#i just feel like it’s okay to feel bad for a dude who was unwillingly turned into a human philosopher’s stone#i saw someone call him a creep bc he’s immortal and got with trisha who is Not immortal and i#you can dislike a character but don’t erase all of the nuance in doing so hello#sighs. anyways.#good morning tumblr nation :D
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people who are extremely emotionally repressed and incapable of expressing their feelings are most of the time only capable of feeling and expressing anger, irritation and bitterness. and they HATE seeing people who openly express all of their feelings and emotions, and are emotionally intelligent enough to understand the complexity of emotions. they absolutely hate them and it evokes such irritation and anger within them, because even if they dont understand it themselves, they are envious of ppl who dont take emotions so seriously or see it is being weak.
#i think a lot of times people get angry with me for openly being able to express my thoughts and feelings#they dont understand that when i vent about something it allows me to release the pain and severity of it a little bit#while they walk around holding that anger that turns into poison and hurts them everyday#somehow it is my fault for not being ashamed and feeling like i have to hide my#thought and feelings deep inside#the way they do.#and that for me feelings and thoughts arent written in stone#it doesnt scare me to face my dark and unsavory thoughts#they arent all i am#but somehow they get angry seeing someone dare to express everything#but its totally ok for them to fixate their anger on a total stranger that doesnt even care to take their existence into consideration while#expressing their feelings and thoughts ie they arent even abt them#idk i just cannot for the life of my understand that mindset#if you see someone vent about their experiences and thoughts and feelings#and get so angry you feel like punishing them or harrassing them#there is like something deeply wrong with u emotionally#it is just so frustrating to have to be bothered by those ppl so often#because i will NEVER shut up#i will never cower. i believe in total freedom of expressing things#even if i have to be burdened and bothered by stupid ppl trying to sew my lips shut and cut my tongue out i'll never stop#it isnt my responsibility that they cannot cope with someone just saying shit#it's just sad that this will def ensure that i'll keep have my accounts shut down on any platform 🙃#bc we dont live in a society where freedom of speech is a thing#and it will also make me very very very lonely bc not many ppl can handle someone who speaks openly#(plus im not a degenerate which many loud ppl are so i cant fit it w thm sadly)#but i've trid to keep it all inside and nod and smile but that just makes me....#have very very many homooo... ;))) cidal thoughts haha#cant live like that i'll explode#at least im glad i have my mom tbh#like very glad. she understands almost everything i say. im more extreme than her but she gets many things i say that others wouldnt
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truly lmao 2024 lambda literary award finalist wynnstannery
#have probably already heard of these awards w/o absorbing it but has a sizable [twitter acct you follow follows this acct] overlap for one#wikipedia blurb ''to recognize the crucial role lgbtq writers play in shaping the world...celebrate the very best in lgbtq literature''#Lol! naturally everyone set to laugh abt Individually being lambda award finalist Authors amidst 40+ anthology contributors. sure#and of course oh absolutely crucial cam stone page. we did make the back of book blurb too after all#born of [crucially soph nothingunrealistic (a) investigates that akd role which (ai) leads to me also checking it out. later (b)#investigates this Call For Submissions For All Trans F&F Zine which (bi) leads to me going ''oh so true cam stone Needs to be there'']#all originating in The Wrong Fake ''Fans'' Show Up For Billions By Way Of Beloved Character Winston lmao#b/c fr imagine the trans f&f zine Doesn't have a Did You Know That???? page abt a delightful akd role & canon nonbinary f&f character#but this amidst Plenty of ''fake'' ''wrong'' ''fans'' messing around w/the concept of Fast & Furious as a Work throughout#as i said & got the feedback of [hell yes You Get It] that the premise Guarantees you get a very Varied & inherently Playful response#not b/c playfulness need be ''unserious'' but it sure need not be ''serious.'' like f&f itself; as part of [the premise guarantees it]#& that the Range of ways ppl can approach this broad concept is like the Range of ways ppl can approach the broad concept of Gender lol#& not Unearnest but needing no Gravitas / ''serious'' ''legitimacy'' guaranteed in turn to ''validate'' your efforts#and your not being the ''right'' or ''expected'' audience getting the perhaps straight(tm)forwardly intended experience here lmao#so in many ways it did feel very resonant / relevant to wynnstannery#embracing [the one use of: editor's note!] and [the one use of: the word ''autistic''!]#2 trans 2 furious#which is probably gonna get a physical reprint sooner than later; pdfs still available despite the lack of link there#was already The Intention if vaguely so; now with the added ''can put the 2024 Lambda Award Nominee / Finalist on the cover lol''#page 54 (i believe) brought to you by a couple of quantnoisseurs; rushed to finish last minute then ft. some post deadline edits lmao#classic....nonzero other works i've Heard Of! nice#which: sure does seem like the focus here is like ''did you hear about these books? :)'' as many ''awards'' can ultimately be#like i Am hearing about them now. had seen abt Being Ace on twitter interesting interesting. hi honey i'm homo hell yeah#do we have one or two f&f films left? put cam stone cameo in there for real. Fast furious worth the effort worth the cost#& just shoutout to the like bifurcation of Akd Role Types. [intense in a relatively restrained affect way. some dramatic flair for sure]#and [spontaneous! vivacious! bright! playful! pretty emotionally open!] that's right lmao
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DOES HE HAVE ANY REDEEMING QUALITIES OR AT LEAST A SAD BACKSTORY I'M CRINE
no, LOL
#hes so short bcs hes kind of a play on like the 4'9 uwu baby protect me ocs who cant do any wrong#like his actions hold zero remorse or hint at any anxiety like#so i understand animals easier than people so his inspo was literally a lion#like he enters a place and rules it so he can be lazy as fuck and fuck (and yes hes a stone top to all these tall ass men)#it rlly reflects thru the gameplay too like 2k13 is so fun. u can rlly rule the world after like 3 games it's so fun !!!#he pushes people out of cars going 100 mph into a ditch bcs he wants to see what happens#he knows what will but he just wants to see what exactly will be the outcome during this time with this person & their specific attributes#he gets out the shower and collects the dead skin under his fingernails so he can scrape it off everyone on and off the basketball court#his only maybe redeeming quality is liking denver levins but only bcs a king needs his jester#hes cringe but free#hes the depthless guiltless toxic trope the canon rival love interest character turns into when the oc wants the canon couple's mans#but flipped#he kinda judt showed up one day in the league and started killing ppl (winning championships)#edgy oc who always seems to win against the canon except he doesnt have a sad backstory to excuse his actions & doesnt want one#hes just here to kill things and go home to his loving wife denver levins
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Next time I wake up in the middle of the night I’m actually not going back to sleep. Because why did those extra 2.5 hours I got contain the most bizarre storyline ever
#okay i don’t remember all the details unfortunately but here goes#for whatever reason i’d signed up for my house to be used as like a b&b sort of thing by military guys coming back from missions#not all of them would stay the night but they would come by; usually just one or two at a time; and i would fix them a drink#and they’d take a shower and get changed and get their bearings and stuff. so. most of the guys coming through; i didn’t feel any type#of way about. even the ones who’d flirt with me. but there was this one guy.. he was 6’10; about 40 years old and bald as an egg#and i was Madly in love with him even though (probably because) he never gave me the time of day. i mean he was polite but he was always#on the phone (like talking on the phone) and he’d pretty much use my bathroom and leave. i was always offering him tea and coffee#and he’d just say ‘no thank you’. he didn’t even accept water from me. i was like wow okay#anyway this one night there’s 2 guys there; the guy i liked plus a younger guy who was objectively better looking#and there was also a woman. and it’s getting pretty late and the guy i like asks if i have any alcohol and i’m like ohhhh so i’ve been#offering him the wrong drinks this whole time. so i open my alcohol cupboard and there’s just like Way more alcohol in there#than there usually is. i mean like right now i can tell you there’s disaronno; curaçao; vodka tasters and a bottle of white wine#but in my dream there was like a whole ass liquor store in there essentially. so i’m like ‘i swear i’m not an alcoholic’ and everyone’s#laughing at me. and they decide to do shots of fireball whiskey (which i don’t own and have never tried) and everyone but me is coughing#and complaining. my shot doesn’t taste bad to me. again this does not assuage anyone’s belief that i am a covert alcoholic#i don’t remember a lot of details about what went down from here because the dream transitioned to someone trying to murder me#and i couldn’t figure out who it was but every time they killed me i was able to turn back time and get out of the situation? i think?#it was reminiscent of final destination but if instead of a big disaster; you just foresaw your own death. but not who caused it#it was very weird. at one point my childhood dog was there protecting me#i do remember i ended up dating the younger of the two military guys who was staying at my house; and i was very suspicious that his dad was#the person trying to kill me. i think i ended up chasing him down and he accidentally died by running into traffic#but the visions didn’t stop so then i ended up figuring out my own mother was the person trying to kill me#i do remember the ending of the dream was me marrying the 6’10 bald guy after successfully stealing him from his girlfriend#by sending him a letter in some weird code. i was convinced i’d cracked the code to speaking every language on earth#like i’d absorbed the tower of babel or rosetta stone or something. but i hadn’t. i’d just sent him a letter with every word in a different#language. for some reason this won him over#personal
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I'm ngl the longer it's been since I've played TOTK the less I like it I think
#do not get me wrong i think the game is fun to play and that was like 80% of where my concern lied#but godddd the story sucks so bad. i love the draconification bit with zelda but the rest. augh#why do we need Another ancient civilization literally appearing out of nowhere and infesting hyrule with its ruins#they got rid of all the sheikah stuff with literally no explanation to shove the zonai into the region#but why are we even focusing on the ancient civilizations again????#it would have made so much more sense to focus on hyrule in the present day. work with the npcs to make hyrule greater than it was#move on from the calamity and turn hyrule into a strong bustling country#the zonai were hinted at in botw but they feel so shoehorned in because they have nothing to do with anything in botw#i dont care about the secret stones we had champion abilities#i dont care about the sages the champion descendants had the champions to look up to#i dont care about rauru and sonia because sonia got fridged hard and rauru's character is flat. pleasant but flat#and i dont care at all about ganondorf because the most interesting thing he ever does is do the gmod face#its so frustrating watching the same 'woah secret stones! sages??' cutscene 4 times with Da New Sages and its so frustrating#watching the other characters speculate what happened to zelda and chase down her ghostly paper trail#when like. i can see her in the sky. she's over there guys#the memories were one of my favorite things in botw bc they all subtly stitched together the story of what happened#in totk they are incredibly plot dense and very linear and very confusing to watch out of order. which is easy to do#the one where sonia gets murked is like. the third memory i found#id at least be more interested in all the zonai stuff if link was the one to get teleported to the past while zelda has to try and save him#giving zelda agency. craziest thing they could have done#ok sorry this is a Lot of salt but just. raaaaagh#maybe my expectations were astronomical but outside of gameplay totk brings nothing good to the table imo#i'd significantly rather they made botw2 more gameplay focused where you can do something like make meaningful changes to the map#tarrey town style#than try to shove a whole different zelda game's plot into a carefully constructed preexisting world#i think the zonai story would be cool in its own game but not botw
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The people that have abandoned me really need to stop talking to me like they have any right to tell me what to do, or I swear to God, I'm gonna get the FUCKING hammer.
#inspired by my bitch of a mother sending me a text that basically said u need to get ur life together#as i always say! LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE!#this woman's life is a dumpster fire#and she specifically said 'i won't financially support u. i'll always be there for u but that's a conditional statement'#which is INSANE because that don't make no sense AND she has NEVER financially supported me? genuinely why does she think she has any#fucking right...😭😭😭#meanwhile. my dad. during the shitstorm that has been my family's existence lately. is being way more lax about me getting a job and moving#out than he has been in the past. because some fucks despite being shitheads aren't total assholes#this post is also inspired by my insufferable sister who fucked off to another fucking continent when i was 7 and treats me...well. exactly#how u would expect an upper middle class dumb jock to treat her awesome nerd little brother. and is always telling me i'm making#the wrong fucking decisions and judging me.#these ppl r so funny bc they think this is normal and that i will endure it bc the power of love or what the fuck ever. wrong! i have been#on the brink of cutting off my entire family since i was fourteen. now that i actually have the power to do some cutting off i'll be honest#i feel pretty great#it is all of course a horrible nightmare and i wish things were different etc etc etc. but in the words of supernatural. i was always going#to end up here.#while i am thinking about such things what's my other sister's deal? she has not reached out to me for years. it was like i turned 18 and#she was like ok who cares abt this dude now#which was incredibly bizarre and makes me feel like a stupid idiot who did something wrong but i know i didn't. and she was always the most#supportive of my siblings. i don't know what her problem is#in her defense her life has been weird lately. but 'lately' has lasted long enough that it's just her life now. and whenever i try to be th#one to reach out she basically gives me...nothing.#while i am thinking about such things i will acknowledge the slays. my one totally kickass sister who is the only other one of my siblings#who understands anything. i am rly grateful for her and she has been so good to me for so long especially during the recent shitstorm#she is moving very far away and that has brought up my abandonment issues but i genuinely am so happy for her and her family and she is ver#adamant about me visiting and PAYING for the visit (or at least doing the scamming that pays for the visit so i don't have to pay lol) and#making sure i'll be ok.#it's not all bad! i am going to be ok! there r so many people in my life who love me and love me in a way that makes sense to me and doesn'#make me feel like the world's worst man#personal log
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#alison speaks?#to be deleted probably#not to like be weird about things people are already pretty weird about#but like beyond the absolute turn of ‘aCTUALLY this dude we liked for the past six years was a VILLIAN in her story’#it’s the fact that some people have an audacity to look at the relationship they were in for six years#and go ‘yknow what? it was all just so she could get here. it was all about the healing’ and granted yeah#good people can help you be better. a safe person and a safe place can allow yourself the time and safety it takes to grow and heal#but honest to goodness they did NOT commit to their six year long relationships and endure all their hardships#he did NOT support her during some of the worst moments in her career#just for y’all to reduce him to some stepping stone in her story#to view him as if the whole universe revolves around her like#like imo he deserved way fucking better#and honestly unless the relationship ended in a way that i really really really could not believe it did#it’s pretty fucking shitty that he had to put up with all the shit he got from the internet after the split went public#it’s pretty fucking shitty that y’all act like she can’t really do wrong in a relationship#that y’all STILL are unable to see it as anything other than sure humans make mistakes but men are absolutely terrible#like the need to analyze the fuck out of a song yall call deep and sad and so telling#that really just sounds like ‘why couldn’t you read my mind?’ makes me want to YELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL#anyways that’s enough and maybe the last thing i’ll say#bc honestly if the current relationship ends up not lasting (not that i wish that on them#don’t get me wrong) but like if it doesn’t? just wait for everyone to come up with all the reasons why#this guy who brought her back and made her so happy and blah blah blah was ACTUALLY? a shitty guy the whole time#okay yeah that’s all that’s it#i think the reason this makes me so angry is bc y’all would not tolerate this if the situations/reactions were reversed#and honestly the amount of disrespect for a relationship that did not go burning down in flames between two people together for six years#that shared a life and a home … to get this disrespect i just….#i wish healing and happiness and growth for both of them#but damn
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I'm not sure if this is common rhetoric these days or not, but I remember as a kid my shitty church would defend zionism by saying "Jewish people need a place to be safe from all of the antisemitism" and that specifically is so.... telling to me? a better solution to that would be, I dunno, combatting antisemitism, not stealing land and massacring Palestinians
#i mean theyd also talk about destined land promised by god or whatever and how 'Jewish people are moving there in droves these days because#of a divine calling!'#but its also just.... you dont really care about antisemitism you just want them out of your way#and turns out theres a 'solution' that also feeds into their hatred of Arabians#2 birds with one stone ig#im not exactly the best with words on heavy subjects like this so if im saying something wrong please tell me
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i will not complain about people calling elfilis the other half i will not complain about people calling elfilis the other half i will not complain about people calling elfilis the other half i will not complain ab
#breathing in and out of a paper bag THAT'S NOT CONFIRMEDDDD ITS NOT CONFIRMED THEYRE ACTUALLY#THE OTHER HALF AND NOT THE FULL VERSION BUT OKAY ITS FINE ITS FINE ILL LIVE ILL OVERCOME THIS ONE#analiceoriginal.txt#i dont care if you interpret them as that its fine its genuinely fine but if you act like its set in stone confirmed information#you own me a 50 page apology your bank savings and your first newborn if you turn out to be wrong
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the last time my estrogen was this high it gave me a tumor so like prayer circle that doesn't happen again ig????
#shut up az#there's definitely something Wrong in my abdomen#but im hoping its not a fibroid or endo#illness cw#cancer cw#its not cancer but i don't want to trigger anyone w a tumor mention#if anyone needs this stuff tagged otherwise let me know#but I don't want to freak my mom out by talking to her too much about it#anyway I#really think it might be a fibroid because my lower abdomen feels so stiff but who knows#maybe I have something entirely new#my ovaries turned to stone bc I got cursed by a wizard
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